


Carry On

by KailyndriaRachelKatz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, DO NOT COPY MY WORK TO ANOTHER SITE, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Episode: s15e20, Explicit Language, Inspired by Richard Siken, Mpreg, Sick Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KailyndriaRachelKatz/pseuds/KailyndriaRachelKatz
Summary: After Dean's passing Sam has to learn how to live without his brother.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 96





	Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings
> 
> This was written the day after the final aired....I was emotional and wishing for some more details about Dean Jr......so I made them up
> 
> I originally wrote this as my submission for a story digest being put together by a group of writers/colleges/friends but due to contracting Covid I missed my dead line to submit this piece even though I had already let it be know that I had it written and ready to publish in the magazine we were putting together. I only blame the virus for missing this fantastic opportunity to have my story along with so many other talented people--both writers and artist.
> 
> I was out of commission for months having contracted the disease in November and its now the middle of January. And I still only feel partially human. 
> 
> This was meant to be a short piece, so sorry if it seems disjointed but that was kinda the point. 
> 
> As always all foul ups are mine and mine alone......
> 
> Please enjoy
> 
> Happy reading
> 
> KRK
> 
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_ Carry On _

__

__

**_In the dream I don't tell anyone,_ **

**_I'm afraid to wake you up._ **

**_In these dreams it's always you:_ **

**_The boy in the sweatshirt,_ **

**_The boy on the bridge....._ **

****

**_\----Richard Silken_ **

One year....its been a year since Dean died in that abandoned barn. Most of the first few months are nothing but a series of blurry half memories of hunts gone wrong. He did everything he could think of to join his brother but it seems Jack had other plans for him. All those endless days of mourning his beloved brother--days spent researching, hunting, drinking himself to sleep and barely eating. He should have lost half his mass but instead he somehow gained weight because Jack had bestowed upon him a precious gift. The world's new God was determined to protect that gift until Sam came to his senses. It took a life changing concussion that ended his hunting days to convince him that this was his new reality. Some days it just doesn't seem real to him. If it wasn't for the proof of life in his arms, then he wouldn't believe his brother was truly gone.

He looks down at the honey blond hair of his green eyed sleeping son who looks so much like his father. He can't help but touch the soft little tuffs of silky hair as he thinks of Dean. The world had changed after Jack brought everyone back. It only took about two months before the doctors figured out that something had transformed the male biology so that now some men were able to conceive and give birth. Sam was one of those affected people. He wonders if Jack knew about his relationship with Dean and did this so they could one day have the family they always dreamed about, if so then he doesn't know if he should thank God 2.0 or be angry at him for taking Dean away--perhaps both.

They had been talking about retiring from hunting and moving into a real home, even though they lived in the bunker rent free. It would have been nice to have a real home. Shit they already had the dog, Miracle was curled up against his legs right now. The poor pooch missed Dean too, especially when he heard the Impala's rumble. Dean's dog would come flying into the garage to greet him only to be disappointed when it was only Sam. The low whine he let out always broke Sam's heart a little but the dedicated dog always had a tail wag and warm greeting for him, despite the fact he wasn't Dean.

He found the papers on his brother's desk inside his room days after he gave him a hunter's funeral. It was a job offer for a building foreman and the pay was more then they could have imagined. More then enough for them to find a home and live comfortably. He believes that last hunt was meant to be just that--the last time but the outcome was suppose to be very different. They were both supposed to walk away, not just him. It still hurts to think about that day or how he never got the chance to tell Dean he was pregnant.

Little Dean Jr. decides to break into his poppa's musings with a loud wail declaring he's awake and hungry. Sam just smiles a sad little grin as he starts to hum "Hey Jude" while he unbuttons his shirt and prepares to feed their little green eyed blessing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Four year old Dean loves days like today. He gets to play all day with his poppa. Just them and Miracle in the park, feeding the duckies, eating the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they made this morning and tonight, stories about daddy. _Bestest day ever_!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Has it really been ten years since you left me. I know I told you to go, that it was okay but it really wasn't. If I hadn't found out about Junior then I would have gladly died on a hunt just so I could be with you. Little Dean saved my life all those years ago but I still miss you everyday.

Our son is so much like you. He's strong, protective of me when the kids at school give him shit for having a father for a mother, smart as hell and we both know he gets that from you. He gets his athletic skills from me because the kid loves track and plays soccer like I used to do because you made sure that I could. Little Dean looks like you too, but he doesn't have your freckles. I miss trying to count them while you pretended to sleep. Instead he inherited my freckle free, tanned skin but he has your eyes.....green like moss in the summer sunshine but tilted eyes like mine and your golden blond hair but its been getting darker just like yours did. I'm dreading the day all the blond is gone because then he will look exactly like you if he ever decides to cut his hair. Yeah, yeah, I can hear you as clear as day "Just give me five minutes and a pair of clippers....."

I miss you sooooo freaken much.....

Tears are once again rolling unchecked down his face as he lies awake yet again, another sleepless night spent aching for what could have been.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Oh my Jack!!! Poppa gave me the keys to Dad's Impala and told me to take care of her. I love this freaken car!!! How many other sixteen year olds get to drive such an awesome ride. Poppa has been teaching me how to care for her. He says that my dad called her his "Baby" and always treated her like a lady. I promised to do the same.

I can't wait to show Grandma Jody and my aunties after school today. Aunt Claire tells the best stories about my fathers days as hunters and Aunt Alex is always there to listen to me. I have the best family, I just wish that I could have met my name sake but I promise to take care of Baby and always treat her like the lady that she is, thank you poppa.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Its been quite the year....we lost Miracle to old age two months ago but our boy is graduating from college today with top honors Dean. He earned a full ride to my alma mater, Stanford and beat my LSTAT score by two points!! The Dean of Students said it was the first time that a child has topped a record held so long by their parent.

Jody, Claire, Alex and I are going to watch him walk across the stage before I drive the Impala back home. She's been good to our boy, keeping him safe the past several years, but the old girls tired. I'm going to park her out in the heated garage I had built for her and let her rest. Her work is done here. I can only hope that she joins you in Heaven.

Holy shit, I just found out our boy is a on his way to becoming a legitimate FBI agent with his law degree to boot. You'd be so proud of him big brother!! Besides graduating valedictorian (speech and all) Dean Jr is going to have to cut his hair before entering Quantico. A legitimate, clean cut Winchester in the FBI......you can stop smirking now jerk!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Poppa should have told me he wasn't feeling well. I know that my job keeps me pretty busy but family is important. After losing Grandma Jody to old age, Aunt Claire on a hunt gone wrong and Aunt Alex in a car accident, he shouldn't have kept his diagnosis to himself--congestive heart failure. He's always been so strong for me, my foundation--- my stone number one.

FUCK!!! My kids are going to be devastated when I tell them. They love their Poppy so much.

_Please Jack.....don't let him suffer, he deserves to go peacefully and finally be reunited with my dad. He's waited long enough._

"It's okay, you can go now......" his hands are still so warm as he gives me a slight squeeze and one last ultra rare dimpled smile........ _I love you poppa.......goodbye......._

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Driving his Baby always makes him happy, he can tell she's back to the nearly new condition--pre accidents Baby from 1975 that he convinced his old man to buy her but what he really wants is his Sammy. He's only been here for a few hours but he misses his baby brother. Sam has been a near constant in his life ever since he picked him up at school back in October of 2005. It just doesn't feel right cruising around Heaven in Baby without his Sammy riding shot gun.

The road ahead of him shows a scenic bridge is just up ahead. The perfect place to stretch his legs after the long drive. He slows down before coming to a complete stop. Dean sits inside his beloved Impala for a few minutes, allowing her to idle before deciding to turn off the car and step out to admire the view.

He's had some time to think about what Bobby said to him, about how things are different now. Does that mean that Sammy might not want to share Heaven with him? Is he angry because he asked him to let him go? It literally killed him to ask his baby brother to stay and let him die but he knew there was no chance of surviving that wound, Sam hadn't when Jake stabbed him. Sammy has to be with him.....he can't leave him now, not after they finally admitted their undying love for each other and started a relationship.

Fuck that would be devastating.....he was in hell the four years the kid went to school, he can't survive that again. He'll hunt Jack's ass down if somehow they get separated up here. They had been promised that they would spend their afterlife together. He will find a way back to Earth and terrorize every living soul that interfered in their destiny if Sam doesn't join him in their shared heaven.

He doesn't know how long he's staring out at the gently flowing water when he feels his soul start to sing a familiar song...... _Sammy!!!!_

A slow, lazy smile comes to his lips before he realizes that his worries were in vain. "Heya Sammy......"

He hears his baby boys hitched intake of breathe as he turns to face him.

"Dean"

That's what he'd been waiting for......now his soul was soothed because his better, brighter half has arrived. At last he can finally find peace....they are done hunting. _There'll be peace when you are done......_ He can hear the Kansas song that had been playing in the car in his head as he moves toward Sammy's light. _Now your life's no longer empty....Surely heaven waits for you._ No Heaven was waiting for Sammy to arrive....now all is right in the universe.

He embraces his soul mate, they need no words--just this here and now. They stay locked in each other's arms for a small eternity before they walk over to admire the view. Sam is leaning into his side while holding onto him. Dean just squeezes his boys shoulder to let him know that he gets it.

After an undetermined amount of time they walk over to his Baby and go for a ride. _This is how it is suppose to be......_

Dean created the perfect little place for them, Bobby said he could so he did. He made his boy a two story hunter's dream cabin with a wide wrap around porch for his geeky lover. They have a lake across from the front door so they can admire the view while drinking their morning coffee or an evening beer. Their home has everything the bunker had, only above ground. They have a large library for his favorite nerd, man cave for him, large eat-in kitchen, luxurious bathroom with perfect water pressure and a master bedroom with a king sized memory foam bed. Then he added a little doggie suite in the back yard for Miracle to use. The look of pure joy on Sam's face when he saw their dog again was worth every minute he spent waiting for his Sammy to arrive. 

Sam starts to tell him what life had been like for him on Earth. He can't believe that they had a son. Jack hadn't been kidding when he said he was going to fix Chuck's mistakes and make their world better. The kid had made it possible for anyone to create a family. Now he's glad he didn't hunt the half archangel down while he was waiting for his boy.

Sammy spent days telling him about his life after Dean moved on. They not only had a brilliant son but also four grandchildren, three boys and a girl to carry on the family business. Apparently, Sam had made his living by becoming the go to person for myth, lore, and monster knowledge. He had created a specialized web based company that was aimed at hunters. It allowed him to work his own hours so that he could raise their son with very little need of a nanny or babysitter. Apparently Claire and Alex liked to watch Dean Jr on the days when Sam had to work.

Everything Sam had gone through in the few hours they had been separated amazes him. Time really does work differently here. Sam lived over forty years without him but Dean only had to wait a few hours. He pulls his lover closer to him and slowly rubs circles into his back as Sam sleeps snuggled against him.

They've spent their time together either talking or making love. Dean wonders if they can have more kids now that they're together again. He'll have to ask Jack the next time he sees the kid because Bobby did say he could have whatever he wanted........

The end.


End file.
